Michelle: Better late than never...

Well, here I sit 11:00pm on a Tuesday evening, torn between the laundry piles that need folded and the bills that should have been sent out 2 days ago...you guessed it, I procrastinate. Some call it being lazy, I see it as using my time to enjoy life. I suppose this is the reason that it’s taken me 3 weeks to write an entry into this blog. I’ve convinced myself it was because I was to too busy or miles away from a computer when I was having my best thoughts but really it’s due to the trait I hate most about myself... the trait that I use procrastination to mask... the trait I’m fighting against to finish this half marathon... my fear of not being good enough.

So to bring everyone up to speed, about a month ago I was riding out to Philadelphia with Kelly, reading the sex scene in “Breaking Dawn” while bouncing from topic to topic with feverous speed as usual, when one of our ideas made us both kinda silent (a feat not achieved often, just ask our husbands). WE. WILL. BE. 30. I will be taking the leap in November and I promise to be waiting at the bottom of the cliff for the rest of us to follow with a bottle of Grey Goose and a jar of wrinkle cream. Anyway, this number really hasn’t meant much to me until recently, hell, sometimes I look at us all and still see obnoxious 17 year olds in high school, not really worried about anything because of course, we have all the time in the world. Do you ever feel like you are one of those people who slipped into a coma after some horrific accident only to wake up 10 years later not knowing how things became the way they are? Yep, that’s how I feel. In the past decade, I’ve experience college, grad school, a marriage, new job and have seen friends experience great success, babies, and heart breaks. In theory, I’ve lived a pretty full life. Most nights I can sleep easy after counting all of my many blessings but deep down I can’t shake that something is incomplete. So as Kelly and I began to quantify the magnitude of our impending birthdays we decided we needed to celebrate this with something huge, something we can be proud of to start our 30’s out on a positive - We obviously needed to run a marathon! Silly ideas like this have always flowed out of all of our mouths like vomit after drinking more than one of our famous margaritas (eww, that was sick sorry). I usually get so excited about and idea, like making a craft or teaching myself French only to fizzle out before I achieve any sort of measurable success, but not before I’ve purchased any an all accessories to help with the endeavor. In most cases, I don’t get too down about giving up because by that point I’ve moved onto the next idea to keep me going. I’m hoping this half marathon training will be different. It has to be different. Enough is enough. I need to start being honest with myself. Until now I’ve set my life up so I can’t possibly fail but by doing this I’ve never really challenged myself. I’ve shielded myself from feeling disappointment or that feeling that I wasn’t good enough. Training for this race is definitely not going to be easy. This is totally out of character but maybe that’s exactly what I need to wake me from my 20’s coma.

So that brings me to this moment right now. I’m heading towards 30 going 90 miles an hour with no breaks (probably because I’ve forgotten to get my car serviced regularly, something I’m hoping to learn to do by the time I’m 40) and this princess has run out of reasons to procrastinate. I’ve purchased multiple pairs of workout pants, 4 new sports bras, the couch to 5k and couch to 10k apps on my iphone, 3 books on running, about $100 of new songs on itunes that I couldn’t possibly run without and new pair of running shoes...With any luck I can trade those in for comfy pair of glass slippers. On your mark, get set, go.

Michelle

“You may delay, but time will not” - Benjamin Franklin